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Key Quotes from the ether wall

  • C.S. Lewis: "The Weight of Glory"

    C.S. Lewis: "The Weight of Glory"
    "I am trying to rip open THE INCONSOLABLE SECRET in each one of you -- the secret which hurts so much that you take your revenge on it by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence."

My Photo

J'adore

  • Wee Piggy and Superhero Tazzy
    Bless their poofy hearts.
  • Survivor Toyland
    Very bent, VERY funny! I always thought there was something a little off about G.I. Joe. With links to other toy hijinks.
  • Stuff On My Cat
    just plain silly
  • Custom Altered Books
    These make great wedding gifts or scrapbooks.
  • Project Rungay
    Two fabulously glamorous fags ripping the show they L-O-V-E to watch. Project Runway from a VERY gay perspective.
  • Jafa Girls
    These girls rock! Altered art, assemblage, found art, lots more.
  • Dr. Gloria Brame
    Thoughts and resources for those interested in consensual adult sexuality. Who isn't?
  • Rianna
    A professional woman of eclectic tastes. Laugh-out- loud funny and intelligent. Recipes too!
  • Altered Art
    Unique and custom altered art direct from artist.
  • Everything in Moderation, Including Moderation
    Pop Culture, Food and Chicago -- with a twist.
  • Everybody Knows
    Enjoy her daily reflections. Formerly Freshman 44.
  • Houston Bridges
    Just another pilgrim trying to make some progress. [his self-description. I'd say he's the big brother I had to wait 34 years to find.]
  • SF Mike
    Great photos and stories about San Francisco: its arts, politics and characters (the author among them). It makes me homesick.
  • Bats Left Throws Right
    Best blog I read.
  • Appetites
    A discriminating palate from New Orleans muses on food, recipies and restaurants.
  • Blondesense
    Beauty, brains, boobs . . . and a great sense of humor.
  • A Winding Road In An Urban Area
    smart, smart, smart, and oh, did I say smart?

The Fragile Industries Manifesto

  • Hammers
    Why the hammer logo? "Hammers" was my maternal grandmother's maiden name, and I like the matrilineal symbolism. My great-grandfather was a blacksmith, so there's that family history as well. I consider myself ready to undertake the Fragile Industry of rebuilding my life with that hammer. Rebuilding the Insconsolable Secret “that hurts so much that you take your revenge on it by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence.” (C.S. Lewis.) In taking up this blog I raise the powerful tool of language, of exchanged ideas, of humor. I am readying other devices from my toolbox, rusty, disused. The hammer is an ironic symbol of freedom and new life, of encouragement to me. Take it up if you dare.

Important Stuff I Think You Should Know

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Currently Featured On The Nightstand

  • Leonard J. Arrington: Brigham Young: American Moses

    Leonard J. Arrington: Brigham Young: American Moses
    I keep tossing this aside and coming back to it. I have several reading itches I need to scratch, like good plague and virus reading (I love a fun germ) and my trash thriller/mysteries, and 19th Century fiction, and historical accounts of Latter-Day Saints. I must clarify, I am an unafilliated Christian, neither Mormon-basher nor true believer. I find the fundamentals of Morman faith utterly unbelievable, not to say laughable, but my interest in religious history in general brings me back to Mormon studies again and again because it is historically accessible, unlike mainstream Christianity or Islam, the sources of which are lost in time. Brigham Young is the second-most influential figure in Mormon history next to Joseph Smith, the founder of the faith. I can turn to multiple sources for a historically-defensible biograph of Joseph Smith or the very origins of the LDS church. This book is the closest thing to an accurate history of Young, yet it was written by a devout Mormon. I feel great portions of Young's life in this work have been, if not whitewashed, at least granted enormous charitable impulse. Yet other works are so anti-Mormon in bias, such an obvious axe to grind, that I cannot believe them either. It's time for an outsider without agenda to write this biography. In the meantime, I continue to muddle through.

  • Tami Hoag: Kill the Messenger

    Tami Hoag: Kill the Messenger
    OK, so I need some trash reading, and I like mysteries and thrillers to cleanse the palate between Deep Works. I have my favorites, like Michael Connelly, who has never written a bad book. Tami Hoag, judging by this, one of her latest, may become another. Like Connelly, she writes a completely undemanding page turner that is more than a dumb police procedural or woman-in-peril formula. It ain't literature, but this was fun.

  • Chris Ware: Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth

    Chris Ware: Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth
    A perennial favorite, and one I re-read every year or so. This incredible, multilayered, seemingly inscrutable yet abundantly accessible work changed my mind about the graphic novel. This is a story that could not be told in words alone. His artwork is not standard overblown comic book fare at all; it is precise and architectural. Ware's artistry is not only visual, it is historical, narrative, deeply psychological and completely unique. He plays on the tropes of the old "comix" and the hyperbole of the back-page ads for X-Ray Specs, blends that with the voice of innocence and amazement of the Chicago Exposition of 1893, and then, in a perfect hat trick, adds our current post-modern nihilist, isolated and lonely existence of the 21st century to bring it home. I cannot describe the plot, because the plot, as cathartic as it is, is only one vehicle for what you experience. Be prepared to be confused and overwhelmed and moved to tears in this journey from son to father to generations past.

  • Dorothy Dunnett: The Game of Kings (Lymond Chronicles, 1)

    Dorothy Dunnett: The Game of Kings (Lymond Chronicles, 1)
    It's about time for me to begin my decennial re-reading of the Lymond Chronicles. I've actually read this, the first volume of the six, so many times that I've worn out two paperback versions. I make it all the way through all six every ten years at least. This series is a splendid addition to any Desert Island Reading List. If you like your heroes tortured, your buckles swashed with erudition, romances long on intellect yet short on the formulaic ripping of bodices, and sagas so sweeping all beaches would be free of sand, this is your meat. Recommended companion: The Dorothy Dunnet Companion Vol. I & II -- a concordance for this and Niccolo, her other series, which I find less compelling. Yes, she's such a reference-intense, not to say dense, writer that two volumes of clarification ARE necessary.

  • Bill Bryson: A Short History of Nearly Everything

    Bill Bryson: A Short History of Nearly Everything
    I'm working my way through this slowly, no reflection on my fascination with the scientific subject matter or my perennial delight with the author's superb diction. My pace is restrained only because I want to enjoy this at length. Bryson is one of my favorite wordsmiths, but in this new context, he not only entertains but enlightens. I'm a closet science geek, but some areas have escaped my enthusiasm until this book. I mean, geology, really. Now it's sexy.

  • Charlotte Brontë: Jane Eyre (Penguin Classics)

    Charlotte Brontë: Jane Eyre (Penguin Classics)
    This has a post all its own. A brilliant, courageous work, shamefully relegated to the "gothic" or "romantic" pile. This is the work that started a thousand imitators, all of which pale in comparison to the language, the intelligence, and the iconoclastic bravery of the original.

Angels in America(n E-Mail)

Angels_computers (apologies for copyright violation to the left -- I hope this falls within "fair use" parameters) 

Yesterday I received one of those egregious e-mail chain letters, this one promising an angelically-inspired message and/or blessing at a (computer generated) appointed time, so long as the message was passed on to 7 or more people.  The skeptic in me was curious to see what happened at my appointed time, 9:21 am today.  I selected 10 people from my address book -- those who either dislike me already or like me enough to forgive me for sending them that kind of crap.  I promised the recipients to let them know and asked them to return the favor if they played along, and apologized in the name of applied science.

I had the time written out on a Post-it next to my computer terminal so I wouldn't forget it. At about 9 am, I started checking my e-mail, sort of to keep all sources of communication open.  This takes a little background to explain, but bear with me.

I have an ongoing dialog with my Uncle John through e-mail.  He frequently sends just the kind of e-mail spam I love to ignore.  I had included him in the mailing list of the angelic message thing as payback.  He is 83 or so, screamingly reactionary, bigoted, and fundamentalist Christian.  However, our communication makes him happy and he is unfailingly kind to his sister, my mother, and I appreciate it.  Also, he is very pleased that late in life I am rediscovering Christianity and have found it compatible with my VERY different perspective, so long as I stay away from organized religion and ponder the words and actions of Jesus in my heart, without cant.
John forwarded a few days ago a hateful "blame the victim" e-mail tract about Louisiana and the Katrina disaster.  It never said the word "black" but argued that the lack of recovery in Louisiana is the fault of the corrupt Democratic state government repeatedly re-elected by "ignorant voters" and other code words, and the message went on to say this proves Bush is blameless.  It was a classic piece of illogical pseudo-racism of the kind that, like those "pass it on" e-mails, I usually ignore, but this was so full of BS and struck on a topic I feel so strongly about that I wrote back, lovingly but clearly saying that we must agree to disagree on the subject and please don't send me anything similar about Katrina or the people of the Gulf Coast.  (I spent 3 weeks in the area immediately post-Katrina with the Red Cross, for those who don't know, and it changed my life, including bringing me, eventually, to accept Christianity as a viable faith.)  Also, I froth at the mouth at the thought of excusing Bush for anything, much less the Katrina recovery debacle.  The corruption of Bush's government dwarfs anything in Louisiana a hundred fold.
 
Uncle John wrote back immediately, surprising me by agreeing with me for the most part, and astonishingly announcing he will support Clinton because the Republican party is so flawed (actually, he believes it's demonic possession, he said, along with a lot of crap about Obama being a black Muslim who will bring us down in flames, etc., but I'll ignore that easily.  It's not how well the bear dances, it's that it dances at all!)  Anyway, this morning at about 9:15 I got caught up with my reply, which closed with the following, then I looked at the clock:
.
I love you, Uncle John, and I hope you don't take offense when I speak my mind.  I do believe in tolerance and avoiding judgments (and this from a woman who worked with judges for almost 20 years!) with all my heart, and I do not judge you at all.  Sometimes, though, I stand on my hind legs when stuff touches a nerve and sound off.  Must be the lawyer in me.  Not exactly Christ-like, even if he did get tee'd off at the moneychangers in the temple.  That's the kind of corruption of power that causes direct suffering of those Christ would protect that gets my goat, and that's what I see in Washington today.
Wishing you all the best.
.
Love, Me
.
PS -- Ooooh, it's 9:23, and I realized that at 9:21, the time of my supposed "angelic message" or blessing, I wrote the last paragraph about Christ.  Maybe that's a sign?  It wasn't the lottery people calling me to tell me I'm rich, the message I was hoping for, but perhaps keeping Christ in my thoughts will make me spiritually rich down the road ... it has already ...

The phone didn't ring, no voice from the heavens, my cats did not speak in tongues at 9:21.  If there was any message, it came from me, or the Christ in me, the Holy Ghost if I want to get all trinitarian about it. 

An interesting experiment -- in the larger scale, I think the timed "blessing" idea is one of those tautologies that always produce results, but probably without divine cause.  It will always work because any moment in our lives, examined closely enough through a lens of "here's a message" will produce a message.  Humans are reason-seeking creatures, pattern-recognition hardwired, which explains seeing the Virgin Mary in tortillas and the like.  That's the cynical scientific side of the coin.

The other side of the coin says, who cares about the science, if you find a helpful kernel of truth or comfort.  The unexamined life, and all that.  If you like, call it the work of angels, the Holy Ghost, the whisperings of the Giant Rat of Sumatra, may she enfold me in her holy whiskers ... we can use all the help we can get in this life, regardless of how we find it.

Tired, Quick Update

Horses_fire Today's update is that although the Red Cross won't let me help humans, I'm considered OK for animals, so I'm working with the animal shelters as a volunteer -- I'm on call to the Ventura County shelters, the Humane Society about half an hour away, and the Los Angeles ASPCA (about an hour and a half away, and it's surprisingly shabby). 

The hardest hit are the displaced horses from the foothill areas; most people take house pets with them, but there is no room for horses except in equestrian centers and most are in the very areas most affected.  I can't help, as I'm not a horse person and there's no room in my garage for a horse.  However, the shelters are being inundated by lost pets, so today I was in the LA ASPCA tending to the many rescued cats and dogs.  They are stretched to capacity, so I may end up fostering some cats.  None I dealt with are injured, thank god, just scared and disoriented.  I hope they link up with their owners.

By the way, I found out that the new head of the American Red Cross, as of this July, is the former director of the IRS.  That explains a lot.
That's the news from the front, and thanks for your concern from all who've inquired. 

Red Cross to Fragile Industries: Not Good Enough For Malibu

Today's events have overtaken even blogging speed.  Fires rage out of control throughout Southern California, including areas in the county which includes My Little Town, and just over the LA line in Malibu.  I jested in this morning's post about being sent to the Malibu Colony disaster shelter, with valet parking for the Porches.  As ripe for black humor as that scenario may be, the current situation has affected less affluent areas, over a quarter of a million Southland residents have evacuated, and Red Cross shelters are taking in the threatened and dispossessed.  The damage and fear these people are currently suffering is unimaginable.

I have responded like an old fire dog to previous calamities through the auspices of the Red Cross: over two weeks in the Gulf Coast immediately post-Katrina two years ago, and last year at about this time to local fire shelters when Ojai and Santa Paula were burning.  I had a full day of classes, taught at breakneck speed, before Katrina -- a mash-up of two classes in Mass Care and Disaster Response.  I then had two weeks of actual experience in shelters and issuing emergency aid near Mobile, and even mastered the gobbledygook of Red Cross forms in every shape and size, in quadruplicate.  After my return from Alabama, I've taken two more classes from the ARC, after being told that my emergency worker status from Katrina was provisional only, and formal training was necessary for continued work.  I left those classes with no new information but a great deal of frustration with the red tape of the Red Cross.  See posts here and here (the Red Cross part comes in about halfway through that last one, if you're the impatient sort).

But still, I thought I had it down, because last October, after the classes, they did send me to fire emergency shelters, where again, I walked the talk.  I set up and broke down more cots than I can count, brewed hundreds of gallons of coffee, and manned sign-in tables where I greeted people with haunted eyes and ashes in their hair.  I just love the doing of it.  There's probably something incredibly twisted in me that responds to the bacon-scented smell of disaster.  I get a sex flush when cooking in mass quantities.  Hand me a clipboard and I'm fresh as a daisy for days without sleep.  Put me in a Red Cross classroom, though, and I'm gnawing at my own paws to get away from the bear-trap boredom of it all. 

I called and left a message at county ARC headquarters that I was ready, willing and able.  Put me in, coach, I came to play.  My phone call was returned by a honey-voiced functionary this afternoon.  In short, I was told that my credentials were inadequate.  I hadn't had Intro to Mass Care and ... I forget, some Disaster 101 class.  I said I had taken the two classes in '06 that I thought were required, had two weeks of Katrina experience and was thereafter deployed in last year's fires for more shelter experience.  She admitted that I shouldn't have been sent out, actually, that was their mistake and they damn well weren't going to repeat it this year.  My pre-Katrina training (the mash-up full-day version of the exact half-day classes needed) didn't count because now the course numbers had changed.  To date, I have caused no fatalities by inadequate coffeemaking, I joked, but the humorless chirping noise continued at the other end of the line.  She would be happy to sign me up for the necessary classes right now.  Holding on to the last of my courtesy, I said my calendar wasn't in front of me, but the next time I was at my desk, I'd sign up online.  Well, she said, that wouldn't do, because the online class dates were wrong, but Intro to Mass Care would be offered on November 23rd.  Would I care to sign up now?

So a month from now, I'll be halfway to helping these folks.

I lost it.

"That will be a great big comfort to the people who right this very minute are watching their houses burn down," I snapped.  "Thanks for calling to tell me I'm good enough for Katrina, but not good enough for California because of some damn paperwork formality."   Outraged squawking was heard as I pressed the "end call" button.  (You can't really say, "I hung up the phone" anymore, can you?)

Words fail me.  (Hah, hardly.  I continue:) I give up.  The Red Cross really is the great stinky beached whale of compassion it's made out to be.  I'd like to set up an Anti-Red Cross shelter, across the street from the real one.  Sort of a lemonade stand offering free highballs and hugs, with a great big sign reading: "Unqualified Succor Here."  A Michael Moore gesture, and I won't do it really, but what a fucking waste.

I said privately to a friend a few weeks ago that I had my own name for the ARC acronym: Angry Retired C---s.  (That's not to preserve a PG rating, it's just my least favorite word in the world and I hate seeing it in print.)  The Red Cross is heavily populated and top-heavy with bitter old nurses, who spent their careers doing the real healing while being put down by doctors.  Now that they're in charge, no one escapes their draconian superiority and bean counting.   The other evil, as I perceive it, is the fear of bad press and lawsuits, so they cover their asses in even more meaningless paperwork, crossing every "i" and dotting every "t".  That last is intentionally wrong.  As wrong-headed as turning away proven willing hands.

My heart goes out to all who are affected by this year's blazes.  Let's all send them our prayers, good vibes and virtual hugs.

"Is This Your First Disaster?"

Red_cross_volunteer That was the question I heard over and over last September.  It separated the new volunteers with the American Red Cross from the experienced disaster workers.  My answer was always "Yes, unless you count my first two marriages."

It is now over a year since I went with the American Red Cross to Alabama for Katrina relief.  As I mentioned recently, I've re-upped as a disaster volunteer and am undergoing all the training that was previously required and wisely ignored in the pressing need for numbers of new workers.  In the past year, the ARC has received a public relations spanking for its efforts during Katrina.  In institutional terms, the scolding is deserved, but neither the tarnish on the public image of the average volunteer, nor the ARC's reaction, is appropriate.

The bureaucracy of the American Red Cross is entrenched and institutionalized, maddening for anyone who actually wants to do service, who operates within the art of the possible.  During Katrina, the abundance of "untrained" newbies meant that a great deal of good was accomplished simply because we didn't know that what we were doing was impossible under existing ARC guidelines.

For example, when I was posted to a small town in Alabama to work in a Red Cross "Family Services" center (Family Services was the division that interviewed survivors -- "clients" in Red Crossian, evaluated their needs, and handed out vouchers redeemable for cash for immediate survival) I found that out of the four ARC workers who would have sole responsibility for our little outpost, three of us were newbies.  There was my buddy Steve, with whom I drove the ARC vehicle to get to the little town, which I'll call Smith Corners.  Steve is a seminary-trained Baptist minister, who worked 30+ years on the line at a Ford plant in Kentucky and is a raucous mix of corn pone, rabid liberalism, and charm.  There was Rose, a expat Brit nurse from Maine who burst with life, love and tenderness.  Rose, Steve and I were the newbies.  And then there was dainty Miss Essie, a 73-year old nurse from Geaw-jahh, with orange hair and drawn-on eyebrows to match.  They gave her an expression of perpetual surprise, perhaps in the course of attack by a Crayola.  She was a blatant racist, criticized our every move, and had proudly carried the ARC flag to more disasters than Oprah's had diets.  At first we three newbies tore our less colorful (and in the case of Steve, less plentiful) hair when dealing with her caustic superiority.  Then we learned that if we unified in our praise and flattery of her, consulted with her regularly, and then ignored all her advice, we could actually get help to the people who needed it. 

At the time, less than a week after Katrina hit, the Red Cross was not allowed anywhere near the most severly damaged areas in Louisiana and Mississippi.  Smith Corners, Alabama, was about 50 miles from the Gulf, near the Mississippi state line, in a relatively unscathed region.  Many displaced from the New Orleans and Biloxi disasters had come to the area.  Our center was one of the closest to the hardest-hit areas for a while, and we heard stories that would curl your hair, orange or not.  We were set up in the county courthouse, which housed in the basement the county disaster officer and public health workers.  Steve and I were to see to the clients' financial assistance, while the nurses tended to health and emotional issues.  The county workers were supposed to handle the logistics of arranging appointments with the clients who called in.  No walk-ins, drive-ups or unidentified were allowed in.

This was fundamentally a good rule, though it sounds harsh.  The enormous voucher center in Mobile, where I had just spent two days, was a first-come first-served system.  Riots had broken out among the hundreds in line in the heat before enough of us had bussed in to handle the flow of traffic.  Police presence was required as the number of clients swelled into the thousands, and lines remained long and restive even though there were over a hundred case workers like myself crowded onto the floor of the Mobile Civic Arena, the surrounding bleachers full of those who had made it inside.  People had driven hundreds of miles, arriving on fumes without a dime in their pocket.  By my last day, it was operating smoothly, with about 2,000 clients seen per day.  Nurses handed out water and patrolled the lines for the ill, the pregnant, the elderly, the newborns, who had priority admittance.  A food truck ("ERV" in Red Cross parlance) was due the next day to feed those in line with fresh fruit and MRE's (meals ready to eat, amazing self-heating dinners).

We had none of those resources in Smith Corners, so to prevent a mob scene, we operated by appointment only and were booked weeks in advance. 

The work wasn't rocket science.  I can fill out a form without taking a four hour class.  The administrative details were simple and were easily taught to Steve and I the day we arrived by the experienced volunteers on site.  We were able to get the hang of the paperwork and dive in.  We also managed to side-step the obstruction posed by the all-white county employees we worked with.  Basically, they bent rules to aid white clients, while black clients were held strictly accountable.  White clients were taken home to meet the family, introduced to the church assistance groups, their identities verified by phone calls to second cousins who might have known them through their Daughters of the Confederacy chapters.  Their children, even the ones racing through the county offices causing mayhem, were cooed at as "angels."  Black clients were scolded if their children were visible, much less audible.  They were bumped out of order if they were five minutes late for their appointments.  They were not shown the baby supplies and donated clothing available in the next room.  If they had no photo ID in triplicate, they were shown the door.   

Steve, Rose and I tried to bend the rules back to a more even keel.  The courthouse security guards  quickly became friends, sharing lunch and advising us whenever we needed help or directions.  One guard confided to Steve that it killed her to turn away the people without appointments when we had a vacancy due to a no-show or cancellation.  It killed us too, so we told her on the sly whenever we had an opening and the name of the appointment for the walk-ups to use, in case anyone did show.  Once the people walked in, they and their paperwork were ours.  We fudged in other places, too, probably out of sheer ignorance that whe couldn't.  Newbie power!  It's a rare fully-trained ARC veteran who would do the same, I suspect.

The ARC got a PR spanking after Katrina because there was a lot of fraud by a few bad apples who slipped through the non-existent screening process.  I think if we were talking percentages, thievery was remarkably less than any other business enterpise, particularly one that had about 15,000 new hires within a week, and about fifty thousand over the course of the relief effort.  As a whole, we were worthy of trust. Still, the ARC has its own homeland security now -- all volunteers must submit to a background check for criminal charges and warrants.  I don't mind, although I wondered if my last unpleasantness in San Francisco had left a blot on my escutcheon.  It did not, apparently.  I passed.

The training is stultifying, form- and rule-happy, and designed to whup every bit of initiative and inventiveness out of you.  The higher on the ARC food chain, the more pompous, self-important, and distant from the client's true needs, seemingly.  It's like any institution.  I ran across the syndrome in nearly every legal setting I worked in as an attorney.  Institutional systems are not for the idealistic.

But I do hope that I keep the newbie attitude, at least when no one's looking.  It should always be my first disaster.  Even after those marriages.

Katrina Diaries, Part V: Useful At Last

The ornate bird cages in the lobby of the Gulf resort were covered, parakeets still sleeping, when I staggered downstairs and poured myself a cup of the coffee set out for early risers. The buses left Orange Beach just before dawn to take us to Mobile HQ and from there to Civic Center. The day before, there had been skirmishes at the door and in line between benefit claimants. The benefits center had too few caseworkers to handle the hundreds of people in line who had been given appointments, let alone those who believed they would be seen on a “first-come first-served” basis. Families all over the Gulf area had driven to Mobile, many spending their last dime on gas to limp into the Civic Center parking lot. The seventy-plus new caseworkers (and the Mobile police now sent to provide a calming presence) were the Red Cross’s idea of cavalry to aid Fort Civic Center, and the clients were now seen on an appointment basis only.

Forms2

First, of course, were more forms. We stopped at the local Red Cross HQ, a bustling office building in the historic part of Mobile. We filled out more sheets of paper for money cards, new ID cards, more seeming bullshit. No one had told the canteen supervisor we were coming and she was in a vile mood. Unsuspecting volunteers received a tongue-lashing for setting coffee cups in the wrong place. Finally, we were assigned into groups and given cars for the Mobile assignment. I rode with Bill and Diane (the delightful couple from Florida), a charming and intelligent woman named, I think, Janelle, and Steve, a retired auto-line worker from Lexington, Kentucky. I had noticed and pitied him earlier – Boopsie’s idea of fun was to knock off his cap and then rub his incipient bald spot. He took it in stride, as he seemed to with everything. He had an ornate tattoo of grapes up one leg with names written on the leaves. There was a story there, I thought.

The parking lot at Civic Center was crowded, and more claimants were arriving every minute. As the flotilla of volunteers parked and unloaded, the hundreds of people in line could hardly miss us in our red-and white vests. When we walked towards the front door, a few people clapped, others shouted derisive comments like,“It’s about time.” One man called “Good morning,” and most of us replied with the same and a wave. There was a little more applause.

Mobile_civic_center

Civic Center was a mid-century structure, profoundly ugly in that way of municipal buildings, that served mostly as a basketball and ice hockey arena, and provided space for auto and boat shows, as in the photo here. The empty floor area was surrounded by bleachers that could hold 10,000, but the bulk of the crowd was held outside. A few hundred sat at one side. As they were processed, the next claimants in line with appointments were allowed in. The heat outside was oppressive; the air conditioning in the building was icy. We joked about pneumonia, and chatted more seriously about the people left in the heat. Presumably, the arrangement was a security measure, but it seemed harsh to leave people to wait for hours. The nurses and mental health workers took turns walking the line to distribute water and escort in those with health concerns that might worsen in the heat: pregnant women, those with small children, the elderly.

Pat, our supervisor, gathered us in a circle around him at one corner of the floor far away from the waiting claimants. He gave us the quick and dirty training on the forms we would be using, the identification required by claimants, and how to be creative if that ID was missing. He reiterated that we needed to rely on our gut feeling about a claimant. If we felt the claimant was fraudulent, or if a client became abusive, Pat would step in. If we sensed the claim was genuine, but ID was a problem, Pat would help us help the client to get the benefits they deserved. He stressed that a certain amount of fraud would occur no matter what we did, and the Red Cross mission was to help the deserving 49 people out of 50 and consider what fraud did slip through undetected as the cost of doing business. I agreed, but others felt differently, and that debate was one I was to revisit during my stay again and again.

While listening to Pat at the fringes of the crowd, I felt a feathery touch on my elbow. The child-care area was not far away, and a little boy of about three or four came barreling at me to reclaim his balloon, which had drifted to bounce off me. I caught it and knelt to return it. He grabbed the balloon and gave me an unexpected bear hug. The crowd in the bleachers, who had been watching us intently, laughed. The boy giggled and ran off. When Pat clapped his hands and sent us to the main floor, the crowd broke into cheers, watching us set up row on row of 8-foot folding tables, two caseworkers on one side, client chairs on the other. The entire floor was now full. One of the newbies paused to take a picture of the waiting people in the stand. I was incensed, probably more due to my frustration level at being useless for so long, and hissed at her. “This isn’t a zoo, don’t take pictures of those poor people waiting! How would you feel?” She was miffed. Oh well, she and Boopsie could take it on the chin, I figured.

We were sent to sit with the experienced caseworkers and watch the process for a while, and although it wasn’t rocket science, I admired the tenderness with which my mentor asked questions. I feared my approach would be more ham-fisted, and tried to memorize her phrasing and technique. I’ll call her Patty, not to disguise the guilty, but simply because I’ve forgotten this good woman’s name. She was a nurse from Canada who had a string of national and worldwide “disasters” to her credit. She believed she worked best by giving complete service to the client and not worrying about the numbers she processed in a day. Patty took time to make sure the client was aware of all the benefits available, FEMA, Red Cross health and mental health divisions. CVS pharmacies, at least in the Mobile area, were helping as much as possible to fill prescriptions. This was all short-term relief, she advised, but once the initial benefits process had wrapped up, more money might be available. After three or four clients, we worked together on a few more, and I was ready to fly solo. I felt dangerously unprepared. Face it, I hadn’t held a position of any responsibility in two years.

I retreated to one of the empty tables, set up a few chairs, with the help of some of the cops circulating around the floor. A uniformed captain came up and asked if some of the cops could file their claims with me. An offer I couldn’t refuse. Great, now I have The Man literally peering over my shoulder, I thought. My first client was a stunning woman in her thirties, a uniformed Mobile officer, very easy to talk to. She had lost her front porch and the roof from one of her children’s bedrooms. I found myself sailing through the forms and presenting her with the cash voucher, redeemable at a local bank, more quickly than I thought possible. A plainclothes detective waited at her elbow. He was a homicide detective and I wasted a long time talking to him. He loved his work and was full of stories. He said a surprising number of suspects confessed instantly, but most denied guilt even when in the most incriminating circumstances. TV was getting more realistic in its portrayal of his trade. His favorite show had been “Homicide.” He was going to repair his roof with the cash voucher. The rugs had been ruined, too, but he was insured.

I walked to the front of the arena to turn in these two files, feeling sanguine about my efforts. These stories weren’t so bad. These were middle-class people just like me, with some bad weather.
Id_1

I gathered my next client from the “ready” seats, a kind of corral with chairs for those next in line. I’ll call him Charlie Clemmons. He was a tiny man, looking very ill and elderly. Charlie had his Social Security card and his Alabama food stamp card, but no picture ID, no ID with an address, no letters with his address mailed to him (we accepted bills as proof of address). He had had open-heart surgery just before Katrina, the wound not yet healed. He fumbled at his shirt as if to show me the scar, and I quickly told him that was unnecessary. I couldn’t authorize a cash voucher without ID. I asked why he didn’t have a picture ID, even the non-driving ID card issued by the state. He couldn’t cash the voucher at the bank without one anyway. He didn’t have the $25 to get one. He was flat broke. A man he knew would loan him the money, but only if Charlie had the cash voucher in hand to show he could repay the loan. I had no idea how to help this trembling, muttering man, now digging through his wallet desperately to find something to substantiate his claim. His jaundiced eyes stared at me in appeal. His Mobile apartment, near the Gulf had been ruined by Katrina – storm-driven water had poured through the ceiling. He had been staying with friends and occasionally at the Salvation Army shelter. And all he wanted was the allowance for one, a miserly $360. He could have claimed a family of five. I knew Charlie was telling me the truth and the bare bones of his life haunted me. I ran to find Pat.

Once located, Pat had a line of caseworkers with questions three deep. Eventually, it was my turn, and Pat and I huddled with Charlie. Charlie repeated his story. He said he thought he had brought his doctor’s letter to him, which would show his address, but it wasn’t in his wallet. I had an idea, and Pat agreed. I called the hospital where Charlie had surgery, spoke with Patient Records, eventually reaching the supervisor, and explained the situation. Charlie got on the line and gave his verbal consent to the release of his address to me. I know that without the magic words, “I’m calling from the Red Cross,” I never would have pried this information out of the mandarin guarding the records. The whole process took nearly an hour – when the average client meeting was 15 minutes – as I searched for phones with an outside line and waited on hold once I found one. I was able, finally, to give Charlie his check. I wanted to ask him what the name of his dog was so I could add more to the voucher, but restrained myself. When I got to the part of the form that asked his age, he stunned me by replying he was 52. I was nearly that old and feel like a teenager most of the time. Charlie had led a hard life, and my help was a puny stop-gap measure. I knew I’d never forget him, and added him to my humility list, a mental checklist I keep to remind myself of my blessings.

Name_tattoo

The rest of the day passed quickly, without dramatic stories or difficult clients, except for one. A young man with diamond squares in his ears came to my table, radiating hostility. He was dressed immaculately. He claimed exactly four dependents, bringing the total up to the maximum cash grant of $1565. He had his ID in order, but no proof of his dependents. I accepted the picture of a baby attached to a keychain as proof of one child, and, after much back-and-forth, and the arrival of two young women from different tables each with a maximum voucher in their hands telling me they hadn’t had to show proof of dependents, I reached a compromise. I accepted an additional dependent based on the tattoo on one arm of a girl’s name, his child, he said. It was “messed up” that I didn’t give him the maximum, he complained, but he got the two extra household members practically gratis. I knew in my gut the story was wrong, but I remembered Pat’s advice and tried to administer rough justice as I could.

At the end of the day, Pat gathered us again in a group. The bleachers were empty and the crowd outside had dispersed peacefully. A memorable thing happened. Boopsie redeemed herself. She walked forward with an absolutely adorable little African-American boy, her last client’s child. Tomorrow would be his fifth birthday. Gina-Marie’s 21st birthday was the next day, as well. The boy asked, “Will you be five, too?” We all laughed. Boopsie led us all in singing “Happy Birthday” to him, and gave him a stuffed animal from the child-care table. I resolved not to hate Boopsie, at least quite as much.

We had done well, Pat said. He asked for volunteers to go in twos and threes to some of the outlying client service offices. I sat on my hands. I wanted a few more days under my belt to get the hang of the thing, then I’d be happy to go. The arena was icy and lunch was a MRE, but most of all it was oppressive to work with several hundred people staring at you impatiently. Someone named Bob volunteered to go to Grove Hill, and no one offered to go with him. Finally, the grape-tattoo guy, Steve, volunteered, “If someone will tell me what’s so wrong with Bob that no one wants to go with him.” Steve and Bob were instructed to bring their luggage the next day.

We drove back to Orange Beach in high spirits, Janelle, Diane, Bill, Steve and I. We stopped at Outback Steakhouse and had a great dinner to celebrate being useful at last. We laughed immoderately, and out of our Red Cross vests, were able to drink semi-moderately, except for Janelle, our designated driver, and Steve, who seemed to always have a cup of coffee and a cigarette (when possible) in his hand. Janelle surprised us by lifting her voice in song, and what a voice it was! She was taking lessons, and sang the first part of “Un bel di” from Madam Butterfly. There was silence around us, and at least four waiters, when she stopped, then cheers and applause. I was the happiest I’d been since arriving. What good people. What a good feeling it is to have purpose.

Next: I accept a dare, and go into the unknown.

And Now a Brief Message From Our Sponsor

Sweet_potato_queen My best buddy Houston is coming to town for an impromptu visit this weekend. He is bringing his mother, Dorothy. I know and love his Dorothy -- she has been my guest at several parties and at least one "stray dog Thanksgiving." That was my traditional Thanksgiving observation when I lived in San Francisco; a motley gang of singletons and duos left stranded on the rocks of a family-oriented holiday would gather around my table, clutching to their bosoms their assigned pot luck casseroles (or, for the cooking-challenged, a bag of ice, or nothing at all). Ray knows and loves my mother, Dorothy. With this visit, our beloved Dorothies meet for the first time. This is Momentous.  ". . . Our castle's strength / Will laugh a siege to scorn." -William Shakespeare, Macbeth.  Given the importance of both these strong, beautiful and charming women in our lives, I expect a thunderclap at the very least. They are very different in their life experiences, yet they have strong similarities in character and humor, so I know they will enjoy each other. Houston and I are planning a great time waiting on them hand and foot, so they need not leave their overstuffed chairs for the entire weekend. Maybe Joan Rivers will be on QVC and my Dorothy will introduce Houston's Dorothy to a new vice. Maybe Houston's Dorothy will describe the genealogic research she has done (well, Houston, really, but Dorothies are very big on the royal "we") and captivate my Dorothy, who is fascinated with family history.

To give this state occasion the attention it deserves, I will be called away from the umbilicus I call blogging for the next few days, so the Katrina Diaries will be taking a brief sabbatical until next week. In honor of the rapidly-approaching Thanksgiving holiday, Houston and his Dorothy's Southern roots, and my recent stay in Alabama, I leave you with this recipe. It is an excuse to eat an otherwise healthy vegetable so heavily amended with rich and sweet additions that, poured into a pie crust, it would be dessert. This is not for the faint (or occluded) of heart. You must ignore the Food Pyramid, all Surgeon General warnings and the lingering sense of naughtiness at seeing this on your entree plate. It defines Guilty Pleasure. Of course, I am talking about that Southern staple:

Sweet Potato Casserole

Filling:

  • 3 C cooked mashed potatoes
  • 1 C sugar
  • 1/2 C butter
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 1/3 C milk (canned condensed is best)

Combine in large bowl and mix with electric mixer until well blended.  Pour into baking dish.

Topping:

  • 1 C brown sugar (yes, MORE sugar)
  • 1/3 C butter (and butter)
  • 1/2 C flour
  • 1 C chopped pecans (optional)

Mix topping until mixture resembles course crumbs.  Sprinkle over casserole.  Bake 25 min. at 350 degrees. [note: no indication given of how many this serves]

This is taken from Melva Hudson's recipe (all parenthetical comments my own) in a local cookbook I picked up in Alabama, "Family Favorites" from the Bassett Creek Baptist Church in Grove Hill, AL.  I like to collect these fundraiser cookbooks when I travel in the U.S.  Most of the recipes are a country mile from gourmet (cream of mushroom soup is the ubiquitous ingredient) but they are a repository of regional cooking, while it still exists.  (In places where no one watches "the Ron Jeremy of cooking," Emeril -- quote courtesy of Anthony Bourdain in Kitchen Confidential.)  Six separate recipes for this dish appear in the spiral-bound cookbook from Grove Hill, but this one is so good it was actually printed twice, as Sweet Potato Casseroles IV and VI.  I figure that's a sign from the cooking goddess.  Thanks, Melva.  Since Houston, I and the collective Dorothies are always on diets, I am unlikely to make SPC IV or VI during our visitors' stay, but we will certainly toast the South, its great cooks, and gracious hospitality.  Give it a go yourself and tell me how you like it.  Don't blame me for the calories.  Sweetpotato
See you next week.

Katrina Diaries IV: Assignment Mobile

Leaving Montgomery
Rosa Parks on the Montgomery, Alabama bus, 1950's:
Rosa_parks_in_bus_1


When last I left you, Devoted Reader, Boopsie was plaguing me. I have given short shrift to the other wonderful people I met. Gina Marie, another young girl from the SF Bay area, had been kind to Boopsie, as she was to everyone. A bright girl who smiled easily and had a strong moral sensibility, she was also a little unworldly, as expected for her age, but charming nonetheless. Crystal, a little older, was the daughter of a Jamaican émigré and held advanced degrees in theater history. We shared our experiences in the opera, she in the costuming department for Santa Fe Opera, me as a “supernumerary”, or extra, for the San Francisco Opera. We both had “survived the Battle”, a bitchy opera phrase for having worked with Kathleen Battle, the pissy diva to end all pissy divas, but that is another story. A group of us went to dinner the night after our arrival in Montgomery, and Crystal and I were discussing “Will in the World”, a fascinating book about Shakespeare we were both reading at the time. Someone asked Crystal what Shakespeare play she liked best, and our waitress answered for her, surprising and delighting us all. She favored Othello – for its depiction of evil, and of society’s outsiders. She gave an erudite explanation as she stacked our plates littered with fried green tomatoes and the remnants of the seafood buffet. (90% of the meal was deep fried – a post about Southern food is forthcoming.) Our waitress was a student at the U of Alabama, the Crimson Tide, in Montgomery. It was a lovely little moment, when I was reminded of how wrong one’s assumptions about people can be, and how those assumptions limit one’s possible relationships with even casual acquaintances.

Diane and Bill were two of my favorite people. A good-looking fifty-something couple from Florida, by way of Texas and Colorado, they had been married for 37 years, or, as Bill said, patting Diane’s hand, “not long enough.” It was as if the disaster was their second honeymoon, they were so in love. He was a former Air Force pilot, then worked as an air-traffic controller. He had great stories about the airport shutdowns of 9/11 and what the controllers had to do to clear the skies as quickly as possible, though he drifted into technical jargon that sounded like the Red Cross acronym salad. “So I was gyro’ing the axle-smasher when the Q-497 started beeping, and I knew the TAC coordinators had screwed the pooch …” Very macho, Right Stuff lingo, but he was a total sweetie, as was Diane. They loved to laugh, a trait that endears anyone to me immediately.

On Sunday, my second full day of waiting, I heard through the grapevine of a very hush-hush opportunity for an assignment. The rumor was that Mobile needed sixty case workers to interview clients and to distribute benefits. This was not a Mass Care (or COS) assignment, and would require transfer to the CLS (client services) department. More Red Cross red tape. I whispered this news to Diane, Bill and Gina Marie. We approached the CLS table, where two harried women were busy writing names on Post-its and sticking them under columns labeled “Mobile,” “Gulfport,” “Pascagoula” and the like, tracking the assignments of hundreds of volunteers. When I explained what I had heard and indicated the other volunteers, one woman, the apparent supervisor, fixed me with a gimlet eye. “No one is supposed to know that yet!” We promised to keep the secret, but it was out, and a small group was already gathering. She sighed in surrender, filled out the transfer forms, and added our names to the pool. Later that afternoon, our names had been added to the “Mobile” column and there was rejoicing. No buses were available for the large transport that day. As she explained, there were not enough vehicles in the South available for rental. This had also been expressed by the Mass Care supervisors the day before. The primary bottleneck for deployment of the swelling tide of volunteers was transportation. All rental cars, trucks and buses were already pressed into service, either by relief workers, insurance adjusters, or for transporting evacuees. Vans were coming from as far afield as Utah. Two buses were scheduled for us for the next day, Monday.

Over seventy shiny-faced volunteers gathered at the HQ curb at 8:00 the next morning. We were called by name to make sure we were all present. This picture shows Sam, one of us, standing on a chair to read the names. Called_to_cls_montgomery
Several had slept in the HQ Staff shelter, the back area of the huge former Wal-Mart. 200 cots were lined up, shielded from the main HQ by cubicle dividers and yellow caution tape. I heard that the bathroom lines were long, sleep was elusive given the belching, farting, snoring uproar of mass shelter conditions, and the showers in back were rudimentary, but a blessing to have at all. Barbara Bush’s comment regarding the Astrodome shelter evacuees at about that time (to paraphrase, “they aren’t used to much anyway, so they’re doing all right”) infuriated everyone, especially those who experienced shelter conditions firsthand. I felt guilty for my modest, shared motel room. Almost.

We were reminded that next to the word “flexible,” the Red Cross’s number one rule was to take care of the caregiver, because you can’t help anyone if you’re in bad shape. During the two weeks in Alabama, I had moments of terrible guilt anytime my situation was better than the people I was interviewing. I had a roof over my head, I could go back to an intact home and my loving (?) family of cats any time. The mantra helped.

The CLS supervisor announced at about 8:30 that our drive to Mobile was delayed because there was rioting at the Mobile Civic Center, where the benefit center had been set up. They only had about fifteen or twenty caseworkers for thousands of people outside in the heat waiting to be seen. The Red Cross was not about to send us into danger, so we were told to check back at noon. Secure with my assignment and that schedule, I wandered to Walgreens across the street for more necessary supplies. Ten minutes into the store, the PA system announced that all Red Cross volunteers going to Mobile were to return immediately. I huffed and puffed and threw my bags into the luggage compartment of the lead bus. Apparently, the situation in Mobile was resolved, or the Red Cross had changed its mind about our safety. This was par for the course. Inexplicable shuffling of plans and locations were hourly occurrences. The scope of the disaster required fluidity. I started joking that the real name for the Red Cross was IBM, for “I been moved.” Joking eased our frustration with getting jerked around.

Once out of Montgomery highway 65 took a straight shot to Mobile through thick forests of pine. These weren’t Christmas trees, or the majestic redwoods of Northern California that I was used to; these pines were spindly affairs with small brushy green tops. Kudzu blanketed the roadside. Our bus overheated twice, the second time mortally. While we waited for it to cool, I noticed swarms of black, flying insects about an inch or so long attacking the windows, and their remains spattered the windshield. “Love bugs,” someone said. I was to become intimately acquainted with the insects of the South. Eventually, a group of us switched to the second bus and the remainder waited for a pick-up from a bus sent from Mobile. We were all restive and more than ready to get going and work. This was my fourth day and I had yet to do anything useful.

The bus stopped in Bay Minette, a tiny town off the highway, and turned in at McDonald's. We were given half an hour for lunch. I had been eating such crap for the last four days that I ducked instead into a little diner next door and ordered the salad bar. The locals’ conversation stopped when people noticed my Red Cross vest. It was the first time I had seen fried chicken as part of a salad bar. The only raw, non-fried, non-mayonnaised vegetable was the iceberg lettuce. But there were fabulous greens, and velvety butter beans cooked with ham hocks. That was Elvis’s favorite home meal, I remembered. He would talk about his mother’s butter beans, nearly in tears. This one’s for you, King, I thought, and dug in.

By about that time, we were starting to notice slight signs of damage: tarps on roofs, the occasional downed tree. As we came closer to the Gulf Coast, these signs increased. Billboards were blown over, tourist attractions (gator farms!) were closed, more grounded foliage, and pines bent, trunks snapped like toothpicks. Our excited chatter grew quieter, punctuated by occasional “Look, there!” Here’s the one shot of damage I took from the bus. Ruins_at_beach
There was too much to take in or photograph. A wooden shack with a crude, hand-painted sign reading "Boiled P-Nuts" had a sway-back roof, its signs scattered. It felt rude and invasive to preserve another person’s tragedy on film. Boopsie, on seeing a spectacularly wrecked house, cried gleefully, “Oooh, that’s so cool!” Gina Marie turned to me with a look like thunder. She had reached her breaking point with Boopsie.

We reached the coastal highway. Sand, as white and fine as powdered sugar, was heaped on the sides of the road as if the snowplows had just cleared our path after a blizzard. The beachfront houses were ruined, mere frames showing sand and water through their open walls. Resort hotels were closed. A few miles further, we reached our destination in Orange Beach, the beachfront Hilton. Its signs lay at the sides of the parking lot, tossed there like toys. The hotel was decadently luxurious, even if we would be sleeping four to a room. Married couples got their own room. I regretted not entering into a mock marriage with some agreeable guy. We could have worked out bathroom arrangements much more easily than four women. Gina Marie and I instantly banded together. Boopsie, bouncing around us like a toy terrier, asked if she could be a part of our foursome. “But not if you yell at me,” she said coyly to me. She knew I had had it with her the night before. I said if she could stay quiet, I wouldn’t scold, but I really needed a peaceful environment in the room. “Never mind,” she said, turned on her heel and didn’t speak to me the rest of my stay. I wasn’t deeply concerned. Gina Marie confided her relief as well. We hooked up with Diane (not of Bill and Diane) and Kippy, both from L.A. The room was not meant for four, even if it was seriously plush. I knew I could sleep through anything, though, with half an Ambien.

View_from_room


The Mobile leader, “Big Al” King, would speak to us at 8:00 that night. We were warned to be prompt. A former drill instructor, Big Al brooked no slackers. The beach beckoned. I had not packed a bathing suit or flip-flops. I had not expected to stay at a beach resort. It was obscene, even if the Red Cross was getting an outrageous deal on the rooms – the hotel had just reopened after repairing their roof, and all their booked tourist groups had, understandably, cancelled. It was a win-win for everyone, but I still felt bad. Not so bad that I’d ignore the beauty, though.

Orange_beach


A group of women headed up the road to a bathing suit store. I threw money at one of the older women and asked her to pick up anything one-piece in my size, cheap. She returned with a suit that I never would have picked myself, purple and lavender floral, one of those Iron Maiden constructions with hidden panels and bones and cups. I smiled gamely, thanked her profusely, and put it on. Surprisingly, the damn thing was quite flattering. The sand felt different under my toes, even finer and purer than in the Bahamas or the Caribbean. We bobbed in the bathwater-warm Gulf water, colorful fish nibbling our ankles and knees. Gaiety and gallows humor infected us all. A sweet boy of 22 I called “Sleepy Eye,” after his home town in Minnesota (he called me by my home town and I said it sounded like a stripper’s name) made a run across the highway for beer. He, a beautiful girl named Magic (really) from far Northern California, and I sat on the beach chairs and set to work on the Corona 12-pack. I’ve had Corona many times, but never tasted such delicious beer as on that late-afternoon-into-evening, when we watched the sun set behind us and the moon rise over the water. We drank deeply and talked with Don, a Michigan resident returning home the next day after two week’s duty. As Mobile’s staff housing director, had secured the rooms. We would be facing a daily hour-and-a-half drive into Mobile, leaving at about six in the morning and returning after seven at night or so. There was one local restaurant open, and a few fast food franchises, but nearly everything had been devastated. He was a lovely man and had just retired as a teacher.

So many of us were at a crossroads, which seems statistically unlikely, but relief volunteering requires the ability to pick up and go at short notice. Retirees or people at midlife crisis (like me) or recent college graduates not yet entered into careers or grad school have that ability. No direction home, like a rolling stone. Mary, a woman of about my age newly faced with empty-nest syndrome, had just gotten her BA after years of part-time schooling. She was keenly intelligent, great fun to talk to, and from My Little Town. Her educational achievements got me thinking about my next goals, or lack of them.

At 7:45, not quite sober, Magic, Sleepy Eye and I returned to our rooms then raced to meet the fearsome Big Al. He was indeed a former drill instructor, but a fair one. The gist of the meeting was to introduce our supervisors, explain our tasks in overview, and put a little starch in our collective shorts. Cheered by his enthusiasm, I wolfed a take-out burger and turned in. It would be an early morning.

Next: Useful, at last, and stories from the Katrina victims.

Katrina Diaries, Part III: Montgomery HQ

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

T.C. and me:
Tc_me_1
When last we left our bedraggled traveler, she was in a van with eight or so strangers looking for a place to lay her weary head. Motels were full and turned us away. Finally, the van returned to the Inn South, an older structure that looked like it rented rooms by the hour. T.C., a woman of about my age (and don’t ask), and I quickly signed in as roommates and found our room down a dank hall smelling of mold. That smell became familiar, as nearly every place I stayed had sustained some Katrina damage; here, it seemed more of a permanent feature. Dust bunnies clung to the cottage-cheese ceiling and the furniture and bedspreads were distressed with cigarette burns. I hoped the rooms hadn’t cost much.

T.C. had brought an impressive array of luggage, as did nearly every volunteer I met. I wondered if my “pack light” philosophy had been misguided. She brought every item on the recommended list and more besides, because, she informed me, her hitch with the Red Cross was open-ended. She had come for personal as well as charitable reasons. Two of her grandchildren had been staying with her former son-in-law in New Orleans when Katrina hit. The children had not yet been located. She would stay until they were accounted for or the Red Cross kicked her out. She carried her sadness impressively, but I could tell it weighed heavily on her. She lived in Bismark, North Dakota and there was something of the stoic plainswoman in her demeanor.

What is it about women, even strangers that regresses us to slumber-party-status when bunking together? The easy familiarity of face-washing, teeth-brushing, unpacking of necessities led us to compare new boots and new, *M*A*S*H*-inspired hats. We shared our life stories into the night. Below, see my poor effort to capture our new chapeaux in the streaky mirror.
First_night_new_hats_1

The driver had told us to be ready for pick-up to Montgomery HQ before 8:00. T.C. and I rose earlier than we wanted to (especially for me, a night owl still running on Pacific Time). As instructed, we checked out, gulped down what was edible from our free-with-room breakfast (an egg Hot Pocket, unfamiliar and ghastly, cold hash browns, and juice – I drank the juice and ate one of my granola bars) and dragged our luggage to the curb.

The motel swarmed with people in their red-and-white (gray-and-white for more seasoned veterans) Red Cross vests. Katrina seemed to be nearly everyone’s “first disaster;” even the drivers had little information on the process we were heading into. I was to become very comfortable about operating only five minutes into the future. There was no comprehensive handbook for Katrina, no planned schedule of our individual duties that covered our stay. Standard operating procedure in a volunteer effort of such magnitude meant each person only knew her own function and directed you towards the next step. Rumors were rampant among the newbies. The National Guard had ordered 25,000 body bags. Rioting in shelters and benefit centers. Roads were blocked and Red Cross shelter supplies could not get through. All these turned out to be true.
Montgomery_hq_1_1
HQ was housed in a vacant K-Mart building about a mile from our motel. On the drive there, the air conditioning was a respite from the already rising temperature, consistently in the mid-nineties with oppressive humidity, shimmering on the road. I wondered how the grassy verges, pines, and tall, deciduous trees could stay so intensely green in the heat. We entered the cavernous building to a scene of seeming chaos – a sea of red and white and gray, bustling here and there, platoons of eight-foot folding tables divided into sections covered with papers, hand-drawn signs and arrows taped to poles reading COS, CLS, Health Services, Transportation, Staff Services, Housing, Canteen. I veered towards the latter. My brain was screaming, “Coffee!” A matronly volunteer grabbed me and directed me instead to a fenced area to the side of the building. We stowed our luggage and sat to wait. Another equally matronly woman handed out forms to fill out, most of which I had already completed at my local chapter, most calling for the duplicative information. She told us that we would all be assigned to COS, also known as Mass Care – the shelter and feeding units, unless we were certified as health workers or drivers. I hoped to cook. Even an industrial vat of oatmeal can be cooked from the heart.
Montgomery_hq_2_1

Montgomery_hq_3


Over the next few confused hours, we stood in lines, signed lists, filled out many more mysterious forms, stood in more lines, and awaited orientation. I did eventually get to the canteen. It featured packaged crackers and cookies, granola bars, fruit, juice, sodas and, thank god, coffee. I saw the same in every staff room or canteen during my hitch, sometimes with MREs as well. Either the Keebler people are getting rich or they have a philanthropic bent.

Orientation was led by the HQ director, who told us to copy out all the phone numbers posted for various services: road conditions, contributions, public information, benefit appointments. I still had no idea how this would be useful, as I had no idea how I would be used. Much of the lecture had been covered during my training before I left, but still had value as a reminder. He told us that Montgomery was one of three regional HQs; the one in Mississippi was closest to major destruction; none had yet been allowed into the Gulf area of Louisiana. He gave us an idea of the scale of the relief effort and why that necessarily engendered a certain amount of confusion and changes in plan. We were to remain flexible (that word was mentioned a lot). He also gave us pointers on dealing with clients with compassion. Hand sanitizer and sunscreen were dispensed by the caseload from Health services. Personal hygiene was crucial in crowded conditions (my hands were chapped from liquid sanitizer by the time I returned home). Our per diems of $34 a day were covered by individual debit cards to be issued that day. I never received mine, as the issuing bank was closed over the weekend. I received $200 in cash from Staff Services and spent my own money thereafter. I was reimbursed when I “processed out” the morning of my flight home. By the end of the day, what had seemed like mere chaos looked like organized chaos. The bear really was dancing. Not well, but a recognizable foxtrot.
Army_of_hope

The rest of my two-day stay in Montgomery involved a lot of “hurry-up-and-wait.” I murmured “flexible, flexible” to myself frequently to calm frustration. Mass Care was simply overrun with eager newbies asking repetitive questions. I was painfully aware that the HQ staff in general was operating on nerves, insufficient sleep, and less information, and I stayed out of their way when possible. We were all elaborately polite. Giant display racks, left over from the K-Mart days of the HQ building, were put to new use as signboards, photo displays of workers, and lists of outposts and their needs. Mass Care put us to work in the order in which we arrived, and despite some lists being fudged by over-eager volunteers desperate for assignments, the system worked fairly adequately, running about a day and a half behind. Some of us were given jobs with the HQ staff itself, mostly temporary, some busywork to keep idle hands from becoming the proverbial devil’s workshop. To cheer us, signs of thanks were posted in the waiting area. T.C. joined the accounting department permanently, staying close to the Family Linking Services for possible updates on her grandchildren.
Thanks_montgomery (Sign reads: "The Red Cross Thanks You The American People Thank You")


Family_linking_1 (Family Linking center at Montgomery)

In the meantime, we were shuffled from motel to motel (room availability in Montgomery changed from day to day to cope with the burgeoning influx of volunteers), given microwaved pizza for lunch, developed a fondness for the Keebler cheese-and-peanut-butter crackers, drank coffee and watched the CNN wall-to-wall on the big-screen by the canteen. I tried to stay in the Mass Care waiting area, fearful of missing an assignment. The reward was getting to know the other volunteers. With two exceptions, everyone was more than pleasant company. It was like going to a new school where everyone wanted to be your best friend. Here is Sara, a psychologist, who was shipped out on assignment immediately as a mental health worker in the shelters. And here are two more who became instant chums sitting at a table doing one of our busywork tasks -- revising cards handed to Katrina victims listing 800 numbers for help -- the original phone lines were overloaded with calls. Volunteers set up satellite dishes in the back for the new lines and phone banks.

Volunteer_name_forgotten

Labeling_at_the_table
Satellite_dishes

The exceptions were also eager to please, but annoying. I saw Cameron again, the cheerful Howdy Doody from my hometown training, who seemed ecstatic to see me again. As he spoke, I wondered if he was high. I simply couldn’t understand what he said. The words were all there, but they came out like a tossed salad, and he laughed at things that weren’t funny. I avoided him. A 19-year old girl I’ll call Boopsie, far younger than her years, had never been away from home before. She was literally on a mission from God, like the Blues Brothers. Her boisterous cluelessness was endearing and maddening. I took her to Walgreen’s across the street from HQ to pick up a few items. Everyone’s over-packing had shamed me into partial compliance. Boopsie ran up and down the aisles like a kid in a candy store. She rushed to show me gallon bottles of shampoo and conditioner, each weighing several pounds. “They’re only a dollar!” I reminded her that she could barely carry her bags as it was and suggested that she save the little bottles from the motels – both free and easily transported. She pouted. We bought more socks instead.

At the motel lobby, she climbed over the furniture like a toddler, the desk clerk staring anxiously at her shoes scuffing the upholstery with her stamping feet. The last straw for me came on a taxi ride to a restaurant on our final night in town. Five of us crammed into the car. The African-American driver was patient with our vague description of the location, and I could sense his frustration as Boopsie kept saying, “I want to go to Olive Garden!” We weren’t going to Olive Garden, ignore her, I told him. Cameron peered at a map and asked about other restaurants. Ignore him too, I said to the driver. A muscle car holding several black young men came alongside, bass booming. They looked at us a while at the stoplight. Boopsie squealed, “Look at them staring at us! It’s like they never saw a white person before!” The driver’s lips compressed to a thin line. I wondered if the Red Cross knew what they were sending out on a mission of mercy. It wasn’t that she was necessarily racist or even simply stupid (well, she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer). Boopsie just was totally without any sensitivity and had gotten away with it for too long because she was 19 and the kind of girl usually described as “cute as a bug’s ear.”

Here are some group shots of us chilling after a hard day's pointless waiting. All these companions were dear and entertaining -- fabulous people, anxious to get going, learning the word "flexible".
Chillin_in_mongomery

The_montgomery_gang_dinner


Next: Part IV: Assignment and Action at Last (unless I get a better idea)

Katrina Diaries Part II: Sidebar On The "Money Pit" of the Red Cross

Money
You've probably read the recent criticism of the Red Cross. Here's what my best buddy Houston had to say in his blog today, which included the text of the LA Times editorial that led the charge. My comment follows, below.

Maybe it's just me, but...
I have a natural disinclination to like the Red Cross. My dearest friend, Lisa just finished giving two weeks as an American Red Cross (ARC)volunteer. She considers it to be a life-altering experience to which she credits the ARC.

My first experience with the ARC comes after Hurricane Audrey from back in 1957. She was a spontaneous hurricane in June in the Gulf of Mexico. She formed over night and came in the next evening. Over 500 people died. My relatives who were affected spoke very highly of the Salvation Army and universally cursed the ARC.

Shortly after 9/11, it became known that the ARC did not consider the donations to it for those affected by the horror of the World Trade Center to be dedicated to that end. This week, a widely reported story came out of the Los Angeles Times:

"WITH HURRICANE RITA now making news, it's time for Americans to take a more disciplined look at their tremendous generosity. As of last week, the American Red Cross reported that it had raised $826 million in private funds for Hurricane Katrina victims. The Chronicle of Philanthropy has the total figure at more than $1.2 billion for all relief groups reporting. So the Red Cross received about 70% of all giving.

"This skewed giving to Red Cross would be justified if the organization had to pay the cost of the 300,000 people it has sheltered. But FEMA and the affected states are reimbursing the Red Cross under preexisting contracts for emergency shelter and other disaster services. The existence of these contracts is no secret to anyone but the American public. The Red Cross carefully says it functions only by the grace of the American people — but "people" includes government, national and local. What we've now come to expect from a major disaster is a Red Cross media blitz.

"The national Red Cross reports it spent $111 million last year on fundraising alone. And it's hard to escape the organization's warning of Armageddon if you don't call in a credit card number or send a check or donate blood (which it resells to the tune of more than $1.5 billion annually, part of its $3 billion in income).

"In Southern California, we have had the spectacle of "drive-by" drop-offs of bags of money at public places such as the Rose Bowl, massively promoted by local media. Hollywood studios and stars and corporate America compete to make huge donations.

"The Red Cross brand is platinum. Its fundraising vastly outruns its programs because it does very little or nothing to rescue survivors, provide direct medical care or rebuild houses. After 9/11, the Red Cross collected more than $1 billion, a record in philanthropic fundraising after a disaster. But the Red Cross could do little more than trace missing people, help a handful of people in shelters and provide food to firefighters, police, paramedics and evacuation crews during that catastrophe.

"When New York Atty. Gen. Eliot Spitzer asked for documentation of 9/11 expenditures, the Red Cross' response was that it is federally chartered and not answerable to state government regulators. The clamor rose, however, when the media began dissecting Red Cross activities in the 9/11 aftermath. This resulted in the resignation of the organization's president and chief executive, Dr. Bernadine Healy, and the appointment of ex-Sen. George Mitchell (D-Maine) to oversee its 9/11 fund and help clean up its image. Funds were then pushed out the door — including millions to New York limo drivers who said they lost income after 9/11, and to upscale residents of lower Manhattan to help pay their utility bills.

"The organization also ran into trouble after the 1989 San Francisco Bay Area earthquake when it was revealed that it planned to spend only a fraction of the millions of dollars it had collected in the area damaged by the earthquake. When the Bay Area's mayors found out, they insisted that these funds be spent on housing, homeless shelters and health clinics. The Red Cross had to waive, for one time only, its long-standing policy against funding non-Red Cross groups. (Spare change — and there will be a lot of it this time — stays in a Red Cross "national disaster account." This allows it to spend funds donated for one purpose on another.)

"The Red Cross expects to raise more than $2 billion before Hurricane Katrina-related giving subsides. If it takes care of 300,000 people, that's $7,000 per victim. I doubt each victim under Red Cross care will see more than a doughnut, an interview with a social worker and a short-term voucher for a cheap motel, with a few miscellaneous items such as clothes and cooking pots thrown in.

"The Red Cross' 3 million unpaid volunteers, 156,000 of whom it says are deployed in Hurricane Katrina, are sa