Gender Differences

Two recently-read quotes on gender differences:

"Women are natural spies ....  We're taught from childhood to be quiet and listen.  We're patient, and we're good plotters.  It's bred into us.  For centuries we've had to use subterfuge to get our way."

-- Denise Hamilton, The Last Embrace

"Fox and Levin [criminologists specializing in the psychology of mass murderers] say mass killers fall generally into three categories ....  That most of these killers are male should come as no surprise: 93 percent of violent crimes are committed by men, Levin said.  Fox offers several explanations for this gender gap.  First, women tend to blame themselves for their failures and, so, more often simply commit suicide." 

--  Associated Press, "Cluster of mass murders puzzling" April 7, 2009

Agree?  Disagree?  Discuss.

Comments

[Paula]

I know of more men than women who have committed suicide. But I guess the second quote implies women will commit suicide rather than murder but doesn't rule out more men could be go the suicide way, too.

As to the validity, I agree with the first one. And what are the three categories suggested by Fox and Levin?

[LwC]

I do think there's a link between suicide and the other factors - that is, I think men react to set-back and pain in anger, whereas women react to it with sadness. Sadness leads to depression; anger leads to murder. However, not all depression leads to suicide... often as not, it leads to chronic apathy, which would explain why fewer women commit suicide or murder.

Of course, then you have that subset who use the romantic vision of downtrodden near-suicide to elicit attention and support (of all kinds); since that fulfills the need for attention, though sickly, there's no need to actually follow through... if ever there was an intention, anyway. If half the people I knew who claimed to be suicidal ever tried making good, I'd know a lot fewer people.

[fragile industries]

Paula -- good point. I think they were speaking to comparing by gender the choice between suicide and murder after personal reverses. I got the quote from the paper, and don't remember the three categories exactly, but I think it was family murders, workplace murders and the rare crazy-rifleman-in-the-tower murder of strangers.

LwC -- the second quote was remarkable to me because it mentioned the female tendency towards blaming self and not others, though suicide is a very, very angry act. And actualized vs. threatened suicide are two very different things. Though threats sometimes lead to the action.

What struck me about both quotes was the cultural conditioning that led to the result. I agree with both quotes in that respect.

[LwC]

Hmmm... well, that's interesting. I don't agree that suicide is always an angry act. Not at all. In my own brushes, it has been an expression of futility, not anger. Although, there is the whole "depression is anger turned inward" camp, so in that regard, maybe so. Thus why generalizations are a slippery slope.

[fragile industries]

I'm in the "depression is anger turned inward" camp, at least for those depressions not caused by bad mental chemistry. So for a non-chemical-depression-triggered suicide, it's anger. And there has to be some anger towards those left behind, or at best a staggering disregard (or miscalculation) of their pain and loss. After surviving the suicides of some folks close to me, I could never inflict that on anyone ... even if I felt totally unloved and unwanted, I have seen how devastating it is to others who may seem totally removed. I'm just not that angry any more. What helps is keeping in mind the true foci of my anger, and remembering it's not all about me. For the bad mental chemistry depressions, they are now just a bad flu to ride out. I know it will pass.

That's what hurts so much about depression and suicide in the young. These kids haven't learned any of that yet. Life will hurt again, and hurt just as badly if not more, as the years go on, but you learn better coping skills to survive with each bad patch.

I used to think suicide was a valid choice. Now I think it is a supremely hostile and selfish act. Of course, terminal illness is an out, but other than that, you're fucking with God.